What I learned from slowing down
On September 24th, I was having the bike ride of my life: the sun was in my back, the weather was gorgeous, and I was 15 kilometres from reaching my goal of 2500 clicks on my bike that summer.
And then it all stopped.
The car hit me, broke my bike, my leg and my brain.
Five days later I was back home, on medical leave for at least 12 weeks. I could barely go to the bathroom in my own and slept half the time.
Going from an intense life, intense job and intense training schedule to nothing at all is a big change. I was used to my life zipping by and suddenly I found myself with nothing to do: no going out, no computer, no reading. Just sitting on the couch all day.
Four months later, I am getting ready to return to work. Here is what I have learned from going full stop on my life.
1. Silence is great
We live in a noisy world. Background music, open workspaces, phones everywhere, the tv in the background. I was so used to this noise it felt quite eerie to sit in silence at home. At first it felt like emptiness, like something was missing. Over time, this emptiness has become comfortable. It’s easier to think in silence, it’s easier to observe. Now I spencer my days without background music or television, and I enjoy the silence. You should try it too - go for a walk without a podcast or music playing, you may feel like your perceive more around you.
2. Sleep cures a lot of stuff
I have never slept as much as I have in the last four months. Sleep has been linked to faster healing, stress relief, weight loss, and many other health benefits. I do feel that my injuries required me to sleep more, and I can observe the difference between my physical injuries before going to bed and after waking up in the morning. In my case, sleep has also helped work through the trauma of being hit by a car - I dreamt through those issues for weeks and feel better for it today. Don’t deny yourself sleep - splurging on sleeping when you can could help you be more productive, more creative and in better control of your emotions.
3. Slowing the mind down helps it go deeper
Being on medical leave means disconnecting from work. This cleared my mind of the zillions of little things that work demands. I found that my yoga sessions produced a higher quality of meditation, that by slowing down my entire self I was able to go deeper. If I decided to reflect on a subject, I was not distracted and I could go deeper and think longer about it. Being a person who is always busy, always accomplishing something, it was an interesting change to take the mental scenic route.
4. It’s OK to depend on others
That is a tough one. From a young age, I was taught to be self-sufficient and not need others. With the injuries, my autonomy was severely affected. I had to rely on disability insurance for money, on my boyfriend to take care of the house, all our meals, all our shopping, and in the beginning even to help out with showering. I had to rely on my family to drive me to my medical appointments. I had to rely on the health professionals taking care of me to know what to do and how to get better. I can say I was far, far outside my comfort zone.
Through this I have learned that people want to help. And people will help if I ask them. And I am not a smaller person for it. I have learned to detect when someone needs a break from helping me out. I have learned to identify the symbols that show whether a door is automated, where the wheelchair ramp is, and how to use the provisions made for the disabled in public places.
I have learned that it takes a stronger person to ask for help than to struggle with the problem alone.
5. The human ability to adapt is underrated
My physical therapist was worried I’d go into depression, going through such a drastic change of pace. I felt like there was no way I could spend all that time doing nothing.
And then time happened. I started spacing out my rehabilitation exercises throughout the day. I became less bored. I organized my days to even out the amount of time between “events”. I got used to a slower rhythm and started to enjoy it.
I never thought I could enjoy living such a slow life, yet I adapted. Four months later, I am preparing for to readapt to my work life.
6. Life goes on
My dad taught me this one. When the accident happened, there were a lot of visitors, phone calls, flowers, etc. Over time, these dried up: people went back to their lives. They were not on medical leave, they had jobs and families and houses. It’s ok, they’re not the one injured. The seasons passed and I was home and they were getting ready for the holidays. Life goes on.
My life changed, but it still went on. I healed, I gained more autonomy, I started going outside the house more.
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Over all, slowing down taught me that it’s nice to take time to smell the roses. Life does not need to be jam-packed all the time.
I hope I can keep this with me as I get back to a more normal life.
